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Winning Entry
Submitted by Lauren Swerdlove of California
How would you like to receive this
employee manual when you start a new job? Well,
someone actually did. Written in a soapbox-style
manner, this handbook dwells on trite issues while
failing to mention or define important subjects
typically found in employee manuals. Words are
used out of context and language is vague or inappropriate,
potentially exposing the company to lawsuits.
For example, statements implying job security
alternate with threats of discharge. The instructions
in this manual explain more about how to get fired
than about how to succeed at work. Paragraphs
and information are mislabeled. For instance,
employees are asked to follow "rules"
that include stealing, disobedience, and excessive
absenteeism (or should they have been termed "actions
that may result in termination"?). Formatting
issues are no better. The safety rules have two
different numbering systems, not to mention some
rules that aren't numbered at all. The author
summed it up in this self-incriminating line,
"Remember workmen compensation insurance
was not provided to cover stupidity or incompetents."
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